Review of the 1999/2000 draft.
You guys suck!!!
Some of you, that is. I'm always impressed
by Tom's command of last-minute NFL roster changes. And, I am always puzzled
by Todd's
drafting strategy. Mostly, I get a kick out of watching Russell wonder whether
his pick is
still playing football or not. Greg has not forgotten last year's draft and
has vowed
not to receive the Lousy One Win Award again this year. You can see Greg's
fear in his eyes.
You go, Greg! Overall, I still think there's parity in the League. But, in
all honesty, I
haven't laughed that hard since, well, since the last IFFL draft.
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Here's the damage:
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Nearly the
Worst Pick:
Tent Green in Round 4. Sorry, Ed "the new guy".
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Close Second:
Bubby Brister
in Round 3. If Steve G. weren't the defending champ, I'd feel sorry for him on
this pick.
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Worst Pick:
Garrison "Hip Replacement" Hearst in Round One. That's the kind of guy Steve
Wade
is. He's always trying to help a friend. For example, to keep Ed from looking
bad, Steve
makes an even worse pick.
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Best picks from top to bottom:
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Ted & Stefan. Simply because of Favre, Taylor & Johnson. That's some serious
scoring in those
three players.
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Tommy O. Another fine performance, with his receivers being his only
weakness.
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Me. I don't usually include myself in the draft analysis, but this may be one
of the better teams I've had since I took the Commissioner's Cup in 1995.
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(tie)Lentych
and Goldman are about even. Todd made risky picks with Sharpe (TE), and Robert
Smith (often hurt),
while Tony is weaker on RBs. I don't think much of Priest Holmes, and I wonder
whether Levens
will last the whole season. I'd give Tony the slight edge over Todd in a
photo-finish.
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Best Late Rounder:
Harbaugh in Round 11(Wade) is slightly better
than Aikman in Round 9 (Lentych).
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Worst Protected Player:
Kordell Stewart.
Not only is he gay, but he has struggled in preseason.
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That's
how I see it. And remember, the Commissioner is never wrong!
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Welcome Ed "the new guy" Bielski.
(Joe Wade Will Be Missed.)
IFFL owners from the 1998/99 season will surely miss Joe Wade. Joe got himself
a
girlfriend, which means he does not have $50.00 or a single Sunday afternoon to
spare.
As a result, he had to sell his IFFL franchise to Ed "the new guy" Bielski. Joe
was funny,
but he never gave us as many laughs as did Ed at the 1999/2000 draft. More on
that subject later.
Ed is a friend of Steve Wade's. I personally think that Steve and Ed are twins
and were
separated at birth. It's scary how much they look and act alike. At times, I
couldn't tell
which one was talking. They should start a ventriloquist act, if they could
ever figure
out who could shut up long enough not to be the dummy. I don't think either
one of them is
related to Joe Wade. Joe's much funnier than Steve and Ed put together. That
is intentionally
funny. I suppose all three of them look alike, Joe, Ed and Steve. Steve and Ed
look more like
Ed Gates. Maybe Steve and Ed are love-children of Bill Gates, and Joe simply
adopted them later.
Anyway, welcome Ed "the new guy. Don't take any of the joking personally.
It's all in good
fun, and we are glad to have you and your $50.00 in the IFFL. From all of us
in the IFFL
and the Commissioners' Office, worst of luck to you this season. By the way,
if you want
to say hello to our old friend Joe, you can find him on Sundays shopping at the
Fashion Mall
with his new girlfriend. Girlfriend!!!!!! Just don't mention sports to Joe.
It's so sad to
see a grown man cry like that.
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New Rule for 1999-2000 Season:
The Rules Committee drafted and the owners unanimously adopted
the following rule for this and subsequent years: Section 6: Trades/Waiver
Wire: 6.05
This new rule is intended to help guys who, for example, draft players with
broken ankles.
The rule also will reward owners who follow the NFL and identify players who
are scoring but
who were not drafted by another IFFL owner.
Some of you freeloaders have yet to pay the
Commission your annual IFFL fee. Don't make me send the goons to collect!
Next month I'll
list who has yet to pay.
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Stefan returns!!
Stefan has rejoined us. He's like a fly who keeps
trying to land on your hotdog. You can't seem to get rid of him. Just when he
disappears,
you can't help wonder when he'll be back. Then, just when you think he's
finally left you in
peace, he flies back around your ear and straight for your frank! Pervert.
You know it's a
fact that flies vomit every time they land. Then they eat their vomit quickly
before they
fly away again. Much like Stefan, that's the way a fly's digestive system
works. (Welcome back
Stefan)
Shorts are on their way.
Tommy O is getting the IFFL shorts for us. We'll have a Sunday or Monday
night game watching soon, and pass out shorts then. We've got E-Mail!! We
even have a website.
Stefan now designs websites for a living, and has kindly set up a website for
IFFL.
Check it out at http://dooffus.freeservers.com/iffl/
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